Despite the fact that we live in a free country and that we have the power to choose our own life paths, the age-old battle between working moms and stay at home moms is still going strong. SAHMs criticize working moms for putting their careers ahead of their family; working mothers condemn SAHMs for their lack of professional ambition. It’s very difficult for SAHMs and working mothers to find common ground. I often find myself caught in the crossfire of this war as I spend my weekdays at home with my kids and spend my weekends and nights working hard – at home and elsewhere – to support my family. I can understand the advantages and stresses that come with both positions. Furthermore, I can testify that regardless of what you’re doing – whether you’re changing a diaper or negotiating a merger – motherhood is overwhelming. And according to a recent survey conducted by TheBump.com and Forbes woman, I am not alone.
The survey polled 1,200 mothers and found that 92% of working moms and 89% of stay at home moms feel overwhelmed by their parental and domestic duties. 84% of stay at home moms claim they don’t get a break when their partner returns from work and 50% of SAHMs say they never get a break from parenting (while 96% testify that their partners are able to find time for themselves). Both groups harbor resentment for the “unbalanced responsibilities and a third of all moms say they feel their partner could step it up on the domestic front.” A surprising number of respondents confess that they feel like “married single moms.”
That’s why regardless of where or how you work, it’s important to carve out time for yourself. Coordinate a parenting schedule with your partner and make sure you allot yourself a half an hour every day to rest and recuperate from the toils and traumas of the day. Make sure that the chores are distributed evenly among you and your spouse (about 24% of working moms claim that they do the majority of the parenting and household work). And don’t be afraid to ask for help. Motherhood is a joy and a challenge. It’s okay to reach for a helping hand every now and then.
For more detailed results from the survey, click here.
Andrea Hart is a freelance writer, a student, a teacher, a wife and a mother to two rambunctious boys. She currently resides in Southeastern PA.