welcome to the blog

Why Frankie Heck from “The Middle” Is My Hero

Ahh…Wednesday night. After another rough day of work and dealing with the kids and the house, I often look forward to Wednesday night comedy. Call me a daft idiot, but after a day of wracking my brains and catering to everyone else’s whim, for some reason, an evening dumbly watching TV makes me happy.

I’m not sure if it’s Frankie inability to make the demands of work, kids, marriage, and home harmonize that tantalizes my spirit, or the fact that her kids’ stunts are even more boneheaded than mine, but I have to say, I heart Frankie Heck.

There are so many reasons why, but to name a few:

• She encourages her children to be involved, yet she gets sick of driving them to practice so she then talks them out of joining.

• She tries to get “ahead of it” with her kids at school, but fails miserably.

• As social as she wants to be, her husband wants to retreat.

• During difficult situations, she berates her kids and may call them a name or two.

• She is banned from her son Brick’s school

• There’s a good chance she could excel at her job… if she weren’t constantly pulled in 40 different directions.

• She desperately tries to have something “nice” or “new,” that is only hers… but, that never happens.

• She ran away from home.

I guess watching “The Middle” makes me laugh at the insanity that is motherhood.  Being a mom often feels like being that crazy hamster on a wheel… trying to get somewhere… somewhere good, but never making it. At the end of the day we thank our lucky stars for our children and our lives, but when you are deep in it, covered in the muddy entanglements of life, we can thank the writers who gave birth to Frankie.

Photo Credit: Matt

Posted in The Blog | 4 Comments »

Deal Roundup 10/7 - 10/13

TGIF! And to help you celebrate, the deal roundup is here. Lasso in some bargains y’all!

This weekend, we have two great deals for you.

Save up to $75 at AT&T Wireless, plus get free shipping on select orders now through Saturday. Also, save 15% site wide on all Halloween items, plus get free shipping when you spend $65+ at BuyCostumes.com.

Deal of the Day #342: AT&T Wireless Savings

Deal of the Day #340: 15% off at BuyCostumes.com

Check here all week long for our deal of the day forum.

Happy shopping this weekend!

Photo credit: axi11a/Brad Huchteman

Posted in The Blog | No Comments »

Homework with Beavis and Butthead

The first quarter of high school was a bit of a shocker not only for my son, but for me.  I recall back when I was in high school, my mom would say that the work I was doing was what she remembered doing in college. This notion holds true today for me with my son.

After flying through grades K-8, my son had to study for the very first time this year. More than just learning to “study,” he had to learn how to absorb, relate and use strategic thinking when it came to test taking–some of the elements he’ll need in four years in college. However, when you have a child who has never had to work for a grade, you encounter tremendous growing pains.

It’s not that he won’t work for the grade, he simply doesn’t know how to.  I recall one weekend earlier this year where my son had a few tests the following Monday.  My husband would notice him wandering around the house and he would just tell my son to “go study.” My son go off and my husband would return to his reading, TV or newspaper–that would be the end of it.

However, when I would test my son later in the day, I found that he retained nothing.  my son has no clue what it means to study.  He would read the material a few times over and think, “I’ve studied,” which of course couldn’t be farther from the truth.  But come on–I don’t know any kid (or many adults) who find ancient Mongolia to be riveting or even remotely interesting, making it impossible to relate to anything that went down in the chapter.

After a week of watching this, I knew if he continued on this path he would certainly end up with terrible grades–which meant bad GPA. Sadly in order to  get into a mediocre college these days, you have to maintain “at least” a weighted 4.0 and be involved in numerous activities.

I decided to micro-manage this kid for the year and teach him what it really means to study and time manage.  Aside from giving him specific instructions on what he needed to do several days before a test, I started to read his outlines and produce what we call, “the dog and pony show.”

The “dog and pony show” usually runs two nights before any test. I take the material and then apply it to pop culture or references he understands.  For example, when we came to an area where two king brothers were doing a terrible job running the country, I referenced Beavis and Butthead.  One brother was a follower, clearly Beavis, and the other brother was a leader but was leading the country down a path toward destruction–none other than Butthead.

I’ve pulled out an entire arsenal of embarrassing references–I have no shame.  The Jersey Shore, Jackass (part 1, 2 and 3), Zombieland, SpongBob Squarpants, How I Met Your Mother, Arrested Development…I think I can pretty much relate any area of history or English to something several notches lower on the food chain. Math is a wash–if he needs help, we call a neighborhood college boy for help.

My “experiment” this year seems to be working, as he has brought home mainly A’s and B’s in some pretty impossible classes.

My husband laughs at me and asks if I’m going to take my show on the road when he goes to college.  I tell him to laugh all he wants–I just gave him one more tool he can use to NOT come home from college once he leaves.

Photo Credit: Psy3330 W10

Posted in The Blog | 3 Comments »

Weekly Deal Roundup 9/30 - 10/6

It’s that time again…the Weekly Deal Roundup is here. Yee haw!

Below are the deals we have for you this week:

Dell’s Small Business Sale - going strong now through 10/31/11. Receive 20% off select laptop & desktop accessories for your home-business.

Deal of the Day #332: Save 20% off select items at Dell Small Business

Urban Outfitters Fall Sale - Save up to 75% off over 2,000 adorable items at Urban Outfitters. Expires 10/9/2011.

Deal of the Day #331: Up to 75% at Urban Outfitters

BuyCostumes.com Halloween Sale - Not ready for Halloween yet? Order online and save yourself some serious time and money. Save $5 on orders of $25+, $10 on orders $50+, and $25 on orders $100+. Also, receive free shipping on all orders over $60.

Deal of the Day #334: 15% off $60 orders at BuyCostumes.com

Be sure to bookmark our Daily Deals forum to get great deals all week long. For many of our finds, you must act quick, quick, quick!

Have a lovely weekend!

Posted in The Blog | 1 Comment »

New Affordable Mobile Credit Card Processing System - Yes, you Read that Right!

Taking credit card payments from your home or on-the-go business is a great idea, but for most WAHMs it has always been either impractical or just too expensive.

Between strange and inconsistent fees, high transaction costs, and the price of purchasing the credit card machine itself, small business owners have historically found it too expensive to accept credit card payments.

Moreover, credit card processing devices aren’t always convenient. They can be bulky and battery intensive. Access to the Internet is not always available. Receipt paper can create jams…ugh!

Good news WAHM friends…stress no more over credit card processing. I recently read an article on WAHM.com about new mobile credit card processing systems that allow you to accept credit card payments through your iPhone and Android smart phones (pretty neat, right?). Some are even free to get started, with reasonable fixed fees and predetermined percentages per transaction.

WAHM.com has actually partnered with one of these mobile processors — a company called Pay Anywhere.

The article on WAHM.com has more details, but to give you a quick summary, Pay Anywhere offers fixed transaction fees so you always know what to expect. They take a flat fee of 19 cents per transaction, plus a 2.69% transaction fee for every credit card swipe (e.g. if you charge $10 they take $0.269 cents) or 3.49% for keyed transaction entries. You can download the free Pay Anywhere app in the app store and they will send you a very small card reader (they call it a dongle) that plugs into your data port on your smart phone. The dongle is about the size of a match book, so it fits easily in your purse. Plus, all receipts are emailed to your customers…that’s right, no more paper!

There are certainly benefits to mobile credit card processing systems, but take a look and decide for yourself if Pay Anywhere is a good option for your home or on-the-go business.

Posted in The Blog | No Comments »

Aloha! Ready for Flu Bug Vacation

This post may be somewhat disturbing and perhaps a little uninformed, but I feel that I’m at the point in motherhood and my career where I honestly won’t be able to enjoy the fruits from a true vacation without being sedated, preferably in a hospital.

O.k., hear me out. As someone who works from home, I typically drag my job along with me when on “vacation.” Additionally, I’m the point person for packing, cleaning, settling disputes and directing family traffic throughout our getaway.  I’m sure this holds true for many of you.

Even during my “girls’ getaway weekend” (see my blog post a few entries back), I still did a little work and returned to what closely resembled a nuclear attack.

So when I say that I’m going to kiss the next person I see with a really bad case of the flu, I honestly mean it. The well meaning pharmacist offered me a flu shot the other day and I shot him a look of, “What? You are going to try to blow my opportunity for bed rest and massive pain killers?”

When a friend posted on Facebook that he had the flu, I actually felt pangs of jealousy.  This is the demented level where I’m functioning.  And when I do get the flu, I typically get the “functioning flu” where I get a slight fever and a few aches and pains, but nothing to put me in bed and certainly nothing significant to enough to derail my daily routine of work, cleaning, cooking and homework.

So here’s my plan: Find a person with the flu and either share an intimate hug or perhaps a Slurpee.  Next, avoid the rest of the family for at least two to three days (I need to investigate the exact incubation period). I can’t have a family member stealing my flu thunder–if they get sick, no rest for mama.

Then…sit back, find the strongest dose of Advil and catch up on two months worth of “Real Housewives” and “Teen Mom.” When I emerge, the house may be in shambles and the children a little traumatized, but the benefits outweigh the downsides:

* At least 5 to 10 (I’ve even heard of 25, but I don’t think I could do that much) pounds off. With the holidays on the way, having a little cushion weight is always good.

* A well rested body and possibly rejuvenated skin and hair–grease in the hair can be a good thing.

* A new found attitude and desire to actually work–at this point, running at 1,000 mph isn’t working for me anymore.  I need an attitude adjustment.

* Time to reflect on the miracle of Advil and NyQuil.

* All TV caught up–CHECK!

So yes, my intentions may be a little deranged and perhaps quite dubious but you gotta give it to the voracious flu bug–the work-from-home mom’s only way to get some R & R.

Posted in The Blog | No Comments »

Does Schweddy Balls Ice Cream Offend You?

I thought this day would never arrive…it’s like Christmas has come early.  Yes, folks I’m talking about the impending arrival of the infamous SNL inspired Schweddy Balls ice cream.  For years, I’ve laughed wholeheartedly at this skit, created more than a decade ago during one of Alec Baldwin’s hosting gigs. The parody of NPR, coupled with the hilarious barrage of double entendre has made me laugh again and again. In fact I have my own copy.

When one of the neighbor girls told me that Ben & Jerry’s was going to launch a special, limited edition Schweddy Balls ice cream I was like, “Where do I sign up?”  I can’t believe it took nearly 13 years before this idea came to fruition.

In fact, my kids have asked repeatedly when our supermarket will carry it.  Yes, I won’t be running for “Mother of Year” anytime soon as my kids have seen the skit–in addition to the other classics such as, “Sean Connery on Jeopardy” and the “Church Lady.”  Whenever Justin Timberlake hosts–we all tune in.

I know…it’s wrong…but oh so funny.  However, there are plenty of people who “don’t find any of this funny,” especially for kids.  The conservative group “One Million Moms” calls the idea of Schweddy Balls ice cream to be, ”Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.”

Sadly, this is EXACTLY what my children are asking for at the supermarket.  I guess my membership will be revoked.  But that’s o.k.  I admit it–I want my Schweddy Balls ice cream so I can have a big bowl and re-watch one of the classic SNL episodes, fireside with the family.

Now if only they can find a flavor to dedicate to the “Canteen Boy” skit, I can die a happy woman.

Posted in The Blog | 7 Comments »

Weekly Deal Roundup 9/16 - 9/22

It’s Friday, so you know what that means…the Weekly Deal Roundup is here! As always, we have some amazing finds for your this weekend. Are you ready??

During Dell’s Small Business sale, receive up to 35% off select laptop and desktop accessories now through October 1 (think Bluetooth keyboard and mouse, new printer, software…go crazy and get a new flat-screen monitor with LED…).

If your pet needs a little TLC, be sure to check out Petsmart’s Friends and Family Sale offering 15% off your entire purchase (sale ends Sunday).

Last, but certainly not least, it’s Land of Nod’s free shipping event, ending Monday! Shop for new, adorable kid’s bedding, furniture, toys and more!

Deal of the Day #321: Dell Small Business Sale

Deal of the Day #320: Friends & Family Sale at PetSmart.com

Deal of the Day #319: Land of Nod Free shipping via Fedex or UPS ground

If you missed some of our fantastic deals from earlier in the week (and I really hope you didn’t), be sure to bookmark our Daily Deals forum and check daily!

Happy shopping!

Posted in The Blog | 1 Comment »

When Moms Flee

The coveted “girls getaway” weekend is considered a mom’s haven away from home.  A time to recharge the batteries, let her significant other spend more time with the kids (and the house) and a way to reconnect with friends.

This past weekend I was fortunate enougt to experience one of these havens.  One of my closest friends’ husband extended an invitation to surprise his wife for her birthday.  He asked another one of her girlfriends, Mel, to join as well and booked our flights.

My girlfriend, Kim, lives in this magical land called ‘Charlottesville, Virginia.’  A place covered in soft focus lighting, where pimples are forbidden, the dogs don’t bark, all homes and yards are perfectly maintained and neighbors grow fruits and vegetables in their garden, then throw a pot luck dinner.

In fact, hot air balloons fly overhead on a daily basis–it’s suspiciously perfect, like the Jim Carey film, “The Truman Show.”  I wondered if there was a guy sitting at mission control saying, “Cue the hot air balloons,” while we were there.

Kim was extremely surprised and thrilled to have her two best friends in town to celebrate her birthday. We talked, drank, ate and laughed…all the elements of a girls’ weekend in tact. Big win to Kim’s husband.

However, like all good girls’ weekends, it had to end.  After watching a rousing polo match on Sunday afternoon at the local winery, it was time for us to leave.  We said our tearful good-byes and headed on our way home.   Mel and I knew a few things for sure–our homes had not burned to the ground and the kids were still breathing…but that was about it.  It was anyone’s game at this point and we prepared ourselves for the imminent return to South Florida.

Our decent back to hell…I mean South Florida…really began when we missed our connecting flight.  The airline flight board said one time, but the airline decided it might be delightful to leave early (but did not bother to tell anyone). Meanwhile, Mel and I were stuffing our faces with fajitas at the North Carolina airport as the crew closed the door and then denied us entrance (even though the plane was there and still connected to the ramp) when we arrived at the gate according to the time we were originally told. At this point we were exhausted and exasperated, but were booked on another flight leaving late in the evening.

This may have also been the point of no return.  The next two hours in the North Carolina airport were a blur of wine and too much Facebook. Somehow we made our second flight and landed in the excessive humidity and racing traffic of South Florida.

After hot air balloons, smiling neighbors and polo, I awoke abruptly to this scenario:

* My son explaining he had several projects due on Tuesday…but of course he’s done nothing…and needs supplies

* My daughter’s book log ignored…in addition to the mandatory reading

* Two inches of grease on all counter tops

* Dog pee etched into the grout of my bathroom…it wasn’t fresh

* Children refusing to get up in the morning (never mind the fact I landed after 1am)

* A dart board now hanging in the hallway

* I suddenly sprouted a zit that resembled one of Frankenstein’s bolts

But what really made me realize I was “home” was watching my dog Alley, the lovable Pit Lab, take down her fifth squirrel in the front yard as the elementary school children watched in horror.  Oh yes, the bus was late that day so they were able to get a first hand account of her bashing the poor thing to death, then gleefully tossing its lifeless body into the air….as a small plane flew overhead dragging a big banner advertising a pizza restaurant. Yes….I was home from my girls’ weekend.

Photo credit: Sean Michael McCord

Posted in The Blog | 1 Comment »

That’s Not in the Schedule

A few weeks ago, I did something I’ve been meaning to do for quite some time: I made a family schedule. I wrote down my goals for the week. I made a list of how many hours I needed to devote to work, school, play, and family time. Then I artfully arranged every hour of every day so I could achieve those goals. After an hour, I had finished my master plan. I took a step back and looked at my masterpiece. It was clear. It was organized. It was CRAZY.

I booked every minute of every day from now until December. My husband and I had dreamed of taking the kids up to the mountains to visit Grandma, but it’s not in the schedule. I really wanted to see the new Brad Pitt movie, but it is not in the schedule. I thought that I might like to try showering every day (a novel idea). Alas, it’s not in the schedule. My little calendar contained every must-do I could think of; however, there wasn’t any room left for the would-like-to-dos. I created the schedule to maximize my productivity and minimize the chaos that is my life, yet the more I looked at the schedule, the more I felt overwhelmed. It just reinforced what I feared: I had bitten off more than I could chew.

When I see those previews for that new movie with Sarah Jessica Parker, I want to throw things. Hard, concrete things that make loud noises when they hit other things. Maybe it bothers me because I think the filmmaker missed an opportunity to add something new to the conversation about working mothers. Or maybe it bothers me that Sarah Jessica Parker manages to get things done while waltzing around in a fancy pairs of shoe and I don’t have time to take a shower (see previous paragraph). Or maybe the movie bothers me because it reminds me of all the things I have to do and all the things I want to do that I never get around to doing because they’re not in the schedule.

Posted in The Blog | 2 Comments »